Daniel and Nephi
by Chris Heimerdinger
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Covenant Communications ([American Fork, Utah]): 1993. Trade paperback: viii, 201 pages. ISBN-10: 1-55503-566-3 Suggested retail price: $9.95 (US) Tags: conspiracy; Jerusalem; Religious; war; Youth Tactical strength: [6/10] |
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In Daniel and Nephi, Chris Heimerdinger presents another story with a scriptural setting. This time, he chooses the main characters Daniel, the prophet from the bible, and Nephi, the author of the first two books of the Book of Mormon. Heimerdinger experiments with the idea that Daniel and Nephi might have known each other as children in Jerusalem.
The two characters meet as eleven-year-old boys. They get involved in a conspiracy to overthrow the king of Judah, escape the evil assassin sent to kill them, and take part in a war against the Egyptians. All of these events fall within the known history of the period. Through their shared experiences, the boys learn to become friends in spite of the class difference between them.
Heimerdinger tells a good story, but has neglected the craft of writing. I could excuse some of the poor writing that appeared in his first novel, but by now, he should have learned and improved. Instead, Heimerdinger's latest novel feels no more polished than his first. Many of the scenes feel like they were lifted directly from his first two books with only the characters and setting changed. On pattern -- boys learn of a conspiracy, are chased by the conspirators, and narrowly escape by mere good fortune -- occurs in all three of Heimerdinger's scripture-based stories. There's nothing wrong with a formula that works; just don't let the audience know you are using a formula.
Heimerdinger also tells his stories from a totally omniscient point of view. This works, but I feel it distances the reader from the characters. Instead of becoming intimate with the thoughts and feelings of the main characters, Heimerdinger jumps around to any character's thoughts or even to an omniscient narrator -- usually to show off some bit of trivia that Heimerdinger learned during his research for this project. If eleven-year-old boys wouldn't know the information, then why tell the reader? Just let the facts form a believable environment instead of proving that you learned some interesting trivia.
If Heimerdinger wants to continue his success in the ever-expanding Mormon marketplace, he will have to improve his product rather than relying on previous successes. Daniel and Nephi is a good, entertaining story on its own, but shows little growth beyond Heimerdinger's previous efforts.
