Barnyard (4 August 2006)
directed by Steve Oedekerk
starring Kevin James, Courteney Cox, Sam Elliot, Danny Glover, Wanda Sykes, Andie MacDowell, David Koechner, Jeffrey Garcia, Earthquake, Steve Oedekerk, Madeline Lovejoy, Maria Bamford, Fred Tatasciore, Paul Butcher
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MPAA rating: Studio: Paramount Pictures, Nickelodeon Movies, O Entertainment Script: Steve Oedekerk Music: John Debney Running time: 90 minutes Tags: Animation; chickens; Comedy; coming-of-age; cows; coyotes; Family Film; father-son relationships; Musical Tactical strength: [3/10]
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for some mild peril and rude humor
Imagine that Gary Larson had made a feature length version of his sentient cows from the "Far Side" comics, then you might have an idea of what director Steve Oedekerk attempted with Barnyard. Of course, Larson knows the differences between a bull and a cow. For some reason Oedekerk's bovines all have udders, regardless of implied gender. This fact alone continually pulled my consciousness out of the movie and into critic mode. Consider a movie where every human had breasts and how that one physical oddity would distract you from the movie's plot.
For some reason, all animals want to party, but must hide this fact from humans. Well, all the animals except Ben the Cow (voice by Sam Elliott). Ben clearly doesn't trust the humans to maintaining animal welfare, and he stands watch against the inevitable attack by coyotes. Ben has an adopted son Otis (Kevin James), who wants nothing more than to party hard and drink (literally) of milk and honey. Ben, of course, wants to groom Otis to one day take Ben's place as barnyard guard. One night, Ben stands up to a pack of coyotes. He does manage to save the hens from the attack, but he later dies from his wounds. The barn animals unanimously elect Otis to take Ben's place, and Otis must decide whether he will continue partying or take up defending his mates.
The story line doesn't provide any new coming-of-age or father-son insights. Several bits do provide a mild chuckle, but the funniest scene appeared in the trailer and lacks any oomph when you see it again in the movie. I don't mind that the animals look like animated plastic creatures from the Fisher Price barnyard -- except for the udders -- but I do mind that the characters don't provide any enjoyment. Even Wanda Sykes as Bessy the Cow sounds a little bit bored. Maybe acting in two feature films, appearing in two television series, and voicing four animated characters in one year takes the energy out of anyone. The few songs don't inspire or enhance the feeling of the moment, and the lyric performances don't entice the ear. Overall, a ho-hum movie with a cliché plot and uninspiring voice performances.
I can't help it . . . Why put udders on bulls? Clearly the animators had to make a conscious decision about installing bovine mammary glands on male characters. None of the other species have overt sexual characteristics. Did they just think udders were so funny that every bovine should have them? Were they worried that a smooth-bellied bull would just appear implausible? Were they afraid to draw anatomicaly correct bulls? Clearly they didn't worry about smooth bellied pigs, dogs, or donkeys. Perhaps Ben and Otis really were butch dairy cows. I have a hard time believing that with an entire animation staff someone wouldn't point out the problem with udders, and must conclude that Oedekerk somehow thinks he has pull off some marvelous joke by prancing udders around in front of all our children.
